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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/05/2010 3:49 PM |
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Ok I have really liked this one guy and he is 8 hours away, i only see him like a few times a year. so we text. well the other night we were texting all of this...he said when he comes for one is hockey games in my town/city, he wants to show me off to his teammates if i go, i dint see a prob with that since we are good friends.
But heres where it got well lets say interesting... he said we could laugh at them, i said why?, his reply, because they will think were together and we both know you cant make up your mind about us.. i said woah! ok, i really like you but i thought we were going to be friends, so then every time i think of him, see him, or talk to him i tell myself we are just friends. and boy was that hard cuz everytime i said that to myself i liked him even more.
I did say all that to him and he said, "ok beckah, tonite just relax, think and pray about this whole thing and let me know tomorrow if you want to be in this relationship with me". i replied, im so sorry im all wishy washy and im sorry for draging you in all of this.. he said "there are allways second chances" and for the past few months i was already praying about all of this anyhow, so i prayed even harder that nite, i just felt like this was the right thing to do, i could not stop thinking about him..so my answer was YES! 
Our parents dont know yet, bout us wanting to date, my dad says no dating, instead he says that if a guy likes me, i have to tell that guy talk to my dad. so im really nervous on this whole thing. And this guy asked me "when do you want me to talk with your dad?" i said not till after christmas.
because i want to get know him more and to see if this is really the what i want and that sort of thing... so now im freaking out bout how this is all going to pan out, is my dad going to aprove? is he going to say no guys till after i graduate?, the guy is my moms best friends son, he is a christian, comes from a good christian home. my sisters dont even know, bout this, only my best friend and who ever reads this.. sorry for such a long post, it felt good to get it all out..lol so any advice?? |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/05/2010 6:36 PM |
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| It will pan out well. I believe so. You just need to let things happen on their own. You've done all you could do, now you just need to let God handle it. I think your father deeps down wants you to be with a guy who is confident and can protect his daughter. I mean I don't know you or your father but any guy who is willing to talk to the father first before anything is very confident. It takes a lot of guts for a guy to talk the parents of the girl he likes. Just see how it all pans out. Right now your only looking at half the story, the other half is after christmas when he talks to your father. So just see what happens next and have fun with the whole thing. Your young so take your time. |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/05/2010 7:57 PM |
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thanks Cerno! yeh i need to just let God take lead of the relationship... Yes my dad has said he wants a guy that will protect me, if he doesnt, than my dad will take care of him. lol my dad can be very protective i think its his military past.  so how could i have a God centred relationship with him?? |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Cerno4500
Posts:97
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| 12/06/2010 9:10 AM |
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| Just put God first before anything else if that is what you want to achieve. |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 12/06/2010 9:53 AM |
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| You will feel so much better if you at least talk it out with your parents (together or separately) than if you hide it! Trust me, it's a big thing in your life, and to hide it only makes it a big bad secret. Maybe they will ask you not to date yet, but that doesn't mean you can't still get to know each other better to find out if, like you said, this is something you want =] Ask them to respect your judgment and trust the person they've raised you to be. From your posts you seem very mature and it doesn't seem like you'd do anything to jeopardize your heart =) |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 12/06/2010 2:08 PM |
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I dated a guy behind my parents back and after 3 months told them. they were beyond mad!!! Don't try to hide it
Also, it's good to make the guy ask the dad!! I talked to my boyfriend 5 or 6 months before we met each other, when we realized we were really attracted to each other I told my dad I liked this guy (they knew all along I was talking to this guy and were ok with it) dad talked to him for 1 or 2 months then had him come up here and surprise me. I would of been SO nervous if I hadn't had my dad approve of the guy, it took a big load off my mind knowing this guy met dad's standards  and my parents are picky :p |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/06/2010 3:06 PM |
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| see im really nervous to talk to my dad, what do i say, how do i say it, when do talk to him, do i talk to mom or dad seperatly or together.... should i have this guy call my dad? and then talk to my dad? or maybe he should tell his parents whats going on and then he could call my dad and then my dad could talk to his parents.... ok so like this past July, our familys meet at a motel and we went swimming, I think our parents know something bout us, cuz his dad said to my dad that his son is a softy and he doesnt want to see him get hurt... so anyways.... im just praying it works out! |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/06/2010 3:48 PM |
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| Yes, Adelynn and Clare are right! Talk to your parents right away. It might help to tell your sister first, if you are more comfortable with that, then maybe you could go to your parents together if she is willing. The consequences of NOT telling your parents would REALLY stink! |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/06/2010 5:00 PM |
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all i need is courage... and im a wimp right now... plus i just got in trouble(my grades are bad)
im just praying really hard right now!! |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 12/06/2010 6:57 PM |
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| I know it's kind of intimidating! But the best way is to just say it. Whatever feels comfortable. I guess my situation is different (I'm 20, living at home though while going to college), but I took a full 28 hours to tell my mom while we were waiting for my brother and dad to come in to watch a movie, and she ended up being the one to casually let my dad know that I was going out for lunch on Friday =] But once they all knew it was so much better! I hated having it weighing on me, and it's not a bad thing. It's just so big and I needed to process it a bit myself. We don't expect him to have a talk with my dad, though, so I've no advice there =] |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/06/2010 7:36 PM |
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| im going to buck up and tell my oldest sister... :S |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Lucky Albatross
Posts:176
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| 12/07/2010 9:45 AM |
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I'll just stick in a quick two cents. I'd try to tell your parents together when you get the nerve. It's up to you, but it'd probably be better with just the three of you. Best to clear the air between you lest he disappears without a trace when he comes calling! 
Also, I'm gonna be a "Debbie Downer" and make this point. Long distance relationships have a nasty habit of not working out. At least that's been my experience. Not saying yours is destined for the same path, just that it's gonna take some doing to make it work.
Bonne chance, mon amie! Hope it all works out for ya! |
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One step at time,
I trust these feet of mine,
To carry me on to where I belong.
Mike Zito |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/07/2010 2:50 PM |
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| well they way things look, i dont think its going to work.. now dont get me wrong i really want it to but it just seems like its going to go know where. So last night i was texting him and i told him we should just get to know eachother and not just jump into the whole dating thing, he said "well if we are just really good friends who want to get to know eachother more with the idea of possibly dating, than could i date other girls, cuz there are LOTS of them who like me too." i told him "well if you want to date other girls than i did i agree to want to date you?" its one way or the other, and personaly i dont care if you do, cuz i will just say its done and theres nothing." he said i really want to date you..so i said well maybe it would help us if you talk with your parents about us, im sure they could help. so he talked to his mom and she dint say much other than we will talk bout this further when your dad gets back on friday.(his dad is a pilot) so now im going to talk to my mom tonite and so she knows whats going on.. cuz i think its getting a bit out of hand..well almost... |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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clare
Posts:952
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| 12/07/2010 3:19 PM |
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| I like talking to mom about big things and having her tell dad, then when he is ready to talk he mom and I will go out or something ( I get soooo nervous!).for us girls, moms are usually easier to approach then the dads! |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/07/2010 6:34 PM |
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ok i talked to my mom told her everything.. i thought i was going to die but hey im still here to post this so obviously i dint die. well anyways, mom and i both agreed that it wasnt going to work out, for multiple reasons...
i will post the reasons later, mom is calling for me. lol |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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Adelynn
Posts:516
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| 12/07/2010 11:48 PM |
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| Yay Beckah!! I'm really glad you talked it out with her. |
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"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me, why am I on my feet again?" -One Republic |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/08/2010 1:30 AM |
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| Good for you! I'm proud of you for telling your mom! You can still be friends with the guy, though! |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/09/2010 10:43 AM |
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| Its all over.. but we are still friends. |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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dc_88keys4christ
Posts:0
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| 12/16/2010 4:03 PM |
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| Text relationships are AWFUL!!!!! It can be hard to intepret exactly what the other person is saying or implying. I'm glad you guys are still friends, and I think that what happened was for the best, so congrats!!! |
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Beckah
Posts:903
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| 12/16/2010 6:20 PM |
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| haha i agree texting relationships suck! LOL Thanks! |
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"Check yourself before you wreck yourself" |
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